Trying Not To Cry

Quick Warning…. This post is to get my emotions out there, If you want to be mean DO NOT COMMENT.. also I do use bad words… something I do not usually do so if that offends you don’t read please.

 

So the day started out great.  I wen tout last night with M, we had dinner and then went to karaoke, I had so much fun, didn’t sleep all night.

Then M came to my work this morning to keep me company and herself awake and things were going great until my phone rang.

It was my mother…. now I love my mom… I honestly, truly, really do LOVE her… I just don’t really LIKE her…  Our relationship has never been very good. But things had been better since she moved in with her new boyfriend… kinda.

My mother lies a lot… I mean a whole lot, she also “Borrows” money from people’s wallets and other things, which is why when she told me that the money my Papa  had left me when he passed was almost gone because my Uncle, (Who had just died) spent it I was skeptical to say the least, apparently out of the 5 thousand I had been left only 1,500 was there. but I was okay with that I can get a decent car for that price… in fact I’ve found one that looks great for 1300…

So I was all set to go talk to this guy about that car today when my mom called me at work.. she told me that she needed the money for hospital bills, because she has tumors in her uterus and they might be cancerous and if they aren’t removed then she’ll die. Now my mom is a very dramatic person, so I only believe half of what she says usually, but my papa died from brain tumors, and my grandmother (her mom) died of cancer so it is plausible.. and what kind of person, and daughter would I be if I didn’t let her use the money? She could be telling the truth for once… but what if she’s not? What if she just wants the money again like usual? She has taken so much money from me over the years whether by asking or “borrowing” that I just don’t know.

I am letting her have the money of course, but I feel betrayed and hurt and I shouldn’t feel this way… I should be worried about my mom and I honestly can’t even work up the worry right now… because I don’t know if it’s true…

God I sound like a selfish bitch… 

anyways I apologize for the rant, and selfishness and bitchyness of this post… I will try to be back to my upbeat self tomorrow.

Life or something Like it.

I had a really bad day yesterday, for a lot of reasons. There are so many things that I want to have happen but just seem to things to fall right.

I almost got a nice little car the other day, but because I had to  wait until the banks opened to get all the cash I didn’t get it. and all the others I have been able to afford aren’t even really worth looking at! I have no idea what I am going to do… I need a car and I need it soon, but things just don’t seem to be working well.

I am also having a lot of problems getting back into school, I graduated with my Assoc, this past spring and haven’t been able to get back into classes since…  I can’t really go to University of Memphis until I get a car and move, so I just don’t know what to do..

Anyways I posted again on my photo blog so if you get bored go take a look!

New Blog!!

So I am still going to be on this blog but I have seen some of the people I follow doing the 365 Photo challenge, and I want to do it as well, but I know that some of those posts will be boring and dull to most everyone but me lol, so I am restarting a VERY old  blog that I only posted once on! lol So I am going to do the 365 challenge here: on Angel’s 365 Photo Blog. feel free to head on over there and comment, or just look lol.