11 Years Ago Today.

This is a repost of some of the 9-11 posts from my past.

“This Isn’t The Kind of History I Want to Be Present For” -Sarah Bunting.

I can still remember how I felt and what happened, I saw this status going around on Facebook; “If you asked me if I remembered what I did last Tuesday, I couldn't tell you. But if you asked me if I remembered what I did 11 years ago on Tuesday, September 11, 2001... I could tell you exactly what I was doing. Remember our fallen heroes and let's NEVER FORGET!!” This is how I pray that I will always feel.
America was united when that day happened to us 11 years ago, We wanted to be a force to be reckoned with. We wanted another thing like pearl harbor. Instead they told us, to go out and shop, to not let the terrorists make us afraid to be American. They were wrong. We were strong and united and sitting here today again watching the news I can’t agree more with the quote from Sarah Bunting’s essay. I did always want to be a part of history, but this is not what I was looking to be a part of, but I know I will never forget.

I also know that we are no longer as together a country,  we are divided, the flags no longer fly as much, and we are still at war.

Parts of this post have already been posted here and here.
Once again, I sat at work this morning and watched the news, as they spoke and showed some of the old clips my eyes stung and my throat closed up and I flashed back to that morning…
I remember going to school and laughing as I joked with my friends.
I remember spending the first half of class gossiping and ignoring Mrs.. Tole who was desperately trying to teach us Sophomore English.
I remember glancing at the television in time to see the clock and counting the min until class was done when it suddenly became news and I watched in horror as one of the planes hit the tower.
When they had the moment of silence I felt a tear drip down my cheek as I remembered how I felt that day, I cried out and pointed at that television and then
I remember how no one breathed in that room as we watched the news Mrs.. Tole stopped teaching and we all had our eyes locked on that television set.
I held my friend’s hands in a tight grip and we all were praying that maybe it was like a horrible joke, or when they read the War of The Worlds and everyone thought It was real when it wasn’t.
I remember the bell for class change came and none of us moved until we were forced to, then we ran to Mrs.. Sansonetti's room.
I remember how I didn't like Mrs. Sansonetti at all and how she didn't like me any either, but when Megan mentioned wasn't my cousin in NYC she came over and hugged me just in case.
I still tear up when I think about the feeling in the pit of my stomach that day and the worry about my family.
We didn't have social studies that day, we watched the news, when the announcement came that the district was blocking every single outside channel because the "Images were to disturbing" I wanted to scream.
I still hate the fact that we were blocked out on what was going on because they were worried that we would worry, because it didn’t help any.
I remember we all stared at the clocks on the TV willing the news to come back the rest of the day.
That was the ONLY lunch where everyone was silent. There was no joking, or laughing, or talking, or food flying, there weren't even any whispers.
None of us knew what was happening. I remember going home and finding out my cousin was safe. I cried.
I cried because she was fine, and because so many people weren't.
I will never forget what I was doing that day, I will never forget how in that instant I felt the bottom of my stomach drop and I wanted to be able to fight and get even. Or how the next second I wanted to curl up and cry and pretend it never happened.
I will always remember how everyone banded together after that, how we were a united country, all colors, religions, creeds, we were all together and ready to fight.

I pray that I will always remember….