I just don’t know what to say….

So today I would normally be linking up with its okay Thursday but I am not… because well honestly I just don’t have it in me to put on a happy face today.

I am VERY close with my Father and I am still in shock I think honestly.

We left my house on Tuesday morning to drive up to Charlotte and pick up a motorcycle for him. He was super excited because it was the first bike he would have since my baby sister was born,  and I was excited because him having a bike meant that I could have his car for my move to Memphis.

Everything went fine until the trip back home we were about 30 min from Columbia when the bike malfunctioned and he lost control at 70 miles an hour and hit the side of the road, the grass and then the ditch. I was behind him in the car and saw it happen, his bike flipped three times, he was on the bike for two of the flips and the third threw him off and the bike landed on his ankle. I was scared and screaming in the car, I slammed on the brakes and ran to where he was laying screaming, He was conscious when I got there and I held it together long enough to call 911. I told the operator where we were, what happened and she said she would alert an ambulance and get them to us. then she hung up. That’s pretty much when I lost it. I thought 911 was supposed to stay on the line until help arrived and I was standing on the side of the express way with my daddy in the dirt and no clue how to help him.

By the time the highway patrol arrived I was in the middle of a full blown panic attack, my dad was barely conscious and I couldn’t speak in complete sentences. The only complete sentence I could get out was “He’s had bikes since he was 18 and never had an accident.” I was able to explain and the ambulance arrived, put splints on him and took him to the trauma hospital, where I sat with him from 5pm until they moved him up to the Critical Care Center at 4 am, and made me leave.

I can’t help feeling this is partially my fault, if I hadn’t been so excited to get his car, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten that bike and maybe he wouldn’t be in the hospital right now.

At last check they said he had a concussion, broken bones in his neck, broken ribs and severely broken wrist and ankle. as well as bruising on his lungs. I don’t know how much I am going to be around but I will try to keep you guys updated and even though I don’t normally talk about religion on my blog I would appreciate any thoughts or prayers to whomever you all believe in.

Thanks

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50 Questions Part 1

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

This one is hard, because while I am actually a little childish I have always had a lot of responsibly placed on me from a very young age. And I have been able to handle and and act as the adult in a lot of circumstances. I honestly think if I woke up with amnesia and didn’t know how old I was I would say about 18-23, even though I am 25, while I do handle a lot and have a lot of things I am responsible for, I never got to have my “Party” years and a part of me still tries to when I am relaxed.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Being cliché with this Never trying is worse. I am a type of person who will ALWAYS try something once, and the few things I didn’t try I still wonder what if and would I have liked them.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Fear and training. We are taught from a young age that life isn’t always fair, and that we have to deal with what we get. Also bills need to be paid, and people need to eat, so we do things we don’t like to take care of the people we do. Also we are afraid to do the things we do like, I love to take pictures but I wouldn’t quit my job and open a photography studio because I again to reference the above, have bills to pay and need to eat, so if I failed I would be in trouble. I don’t feel that this is against the answer to number 2 though, because while I think you should try everything (legal and within your beliefs) I don’t think you should blindly jump into something.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Honestly I probably will have said more than done, I ‘d love to do more than say, but it goes back to jumping blindly into things, I feel like you need to be prepared, so I would want to have backup plans in place.

5.  What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

I should say world peace, end hunger, poverty etc but those things are not within my power, nor do I think they will ever be done, simply because of human nature, but I would say I would wish that people would be happy with what they have, because no matter what people have they always want more, and then are not happy, and those who get more are still not happy and want still more.